When Covid first started
to ripple across the country my youngest daughter asked me that, in my long
life and apparent wisdom if I had ever undergone such a disruptive societal
force. I took a moment, looked at her with the gravitas needed for these sorts of
questions and replied, “Yes… Disco”.
I certainly didn’t see
the dangers that lay ahead of us almost a year ago when the virus was starting
to make the news. To say the year has been tumultuous is an overwhelming
understatement. I certainly didn’t grasp the sweeping impact that this would
have not only on our city, but our country and the world.
The sentiment that family
is everything takes on a whole new meaning when regular family gatherings are
cancelled or postponed. We have all missed birthdays, weddings, holidays and
sadly funerals over the last while. But in the same breath, the importance of
family time comes to the forefront because it’s missing. Zoom chats, phone
calls and socially distanced meetings help, but nothing replaces a good long
hug.
The lack of family
gatherings had me thinking back to all the times when we planned these evenings
without a whiff of concern. My children have never been shy about vocalizing their
thoughts. This was a curse upon us when they were kids but is a wonderful way
to spend an evening with young adults who have more to talk about than the
latest episode of The Simpsons. No wait, they still talk about the latest
episode of The Simpsons.
It is inevitable that
when you get a group of people all talking over each other with words bouncing around
the room like echoes in the Grand Canyon, that sometime the message does get
lost in the medium. Eight people trying to make a point all at the same time, can
be somewhat dizzying for old ears like mine. The brain tires quickly when trying
to parse who said what to whom. Sometimes these group conversations would end
up like a strange iteration of “Who’s On First” with two completely different
conversations melding together and making sense in a completely absurdist
manner. The kids acknowledged the mayhem
and thought that in the following get together a game might help ease the chaos.
A few weeks prior to our
next holiday get-together we were each asked to think of three songs that had a
lasting impact on our lives. Once we had decided on the songs, we emailed our
selections to our daughters’ partner. He cataloged them all into a playlist and
we were asked not to discuss our selection with anyone else in the family.
I, like many others, can
pinpoint many of life’s peaks and valleys to certain songs. Music has forged
societies ahead, it has calmed us, energized us and united us, made us smile
and made us cry. So when this concept was suggested, we all agreed it would be
a fun way to spend an evening.
When the family weekend
arrived and after dinner, we all adjourned to the living room. The playlist had
been set on shuffle, meaning that the songs would play randomly. If the song
you chose started to play, you were not to reveal that it was your choice.
Instead, you would join in the group trying to determine whose song it was. Subterfuge
is always good fun in a family environment.
When the song ended each
person said who they thought the song was selected by. Sometimes it was
unanimous, sometimes it was not and sometimes it just elicited shrugged
shoulders. Once revealed and all of the
“what?” and “really?” and the definitive “I knew it!” were blurted out, it was
up to the song selector to explain why this song had such an impact on them. To
me this was the most fascinating part of the game. It revealed things you did
not know of the children you helped raise over the last 35 years, or the woman
you have been married to for 39 years for that matter. In addition, I am also
glad and relieved to say nothing was revealed of our children’s partners that
would have us overly concerned.
It was an excellent way
to spend an evening considering there were 24 songs, one of which was Arlo
Guthrie’s “Alice’s Restaurant Massacree”, the LP version which lasted 18:34. To
me, the most interesting choice was The Turtles, “So Happy Together”. My
daughter selected this song, although most thought it was me. When asked why
she picked this song she said it was because it showed her of the power of one
word being able to change an entire perception of something. Considering that
she is in marketing, this was something pretty relevant to her.
She remembered one time
when she and I were driving, and this song came over the speakers. From the
well of music trivia that is me, I told her that most people thought that this
was a love song about a couple who are so happy together but if you listen to
the first word of the lyric, the song is not about a shared love, but of
unrequited love. That first word changes the whole meaning of the song? The
first word of the lyric? “Imagine” as in, “Imagine me and you, I do, I think of
you every night, it’s only right”.
It’s amazing how you can make
a lasting influence on someone’s thinking with a small observation of one small
word.
