I did something that no rational human should do. I checked
Dr. Google for medical advice. If you
ever want to escalate something as simple as a pimple into a life threatening
medical emergency, consult Dr Google.
It's not too surprising that I seem to be in constant touch with
different pains and aches, I am getting to that point in my life where body
parts are starting to wear out, so it's only natural that my body announces
them to me. I am not a hypochondriac and I don't adopt new symptoms as I hear
about them. I am just aging. As I am
prone to tell people, aging is a lot better than the only known alternative at
this point and I'll take aging hands down over that one.
Anyway, I was feeling one of these new pains and was curious
as to what it might be, so I typed in the symptoms I was having and it came
back with 42,175 hits in 0.014 seconds. Of course, almost all of them had
nothing to do with what I was looking for.
At any rate, I was searching for the most reasonable link to what I was
looking for and came across an article that detailed the seven most common
symptoms of a serious illness.
Naturally, I wanted to see what these symptoms might be, so I followed
the link. One of the things we always
have to keep in mind about these on line articles is that for the most part,
they are not written by medical or scientific professionals who are looking to
enlighten us, but by wordsmiths trying to crank out as much content filler for
websites as possible.
The first symptoms that were listed were fairly generic and
really could be applied to anything at all. Among them were rapid weight loss,
lack of energy, shortness of breath and anemia, but it was the seventh symptom
that really stood out for me. I am sure they were saving the best for last. That
of course, was having no symptoms at all.
A short statement that I am sure sent paranoid hypochondriacs into a
full blown panic attack. Having no symptoms might indicate you have this very
serious illness. Thank you very much, internet.
I guess it is only natural that as one ages, there is a
tendency to try to stretch your time out as long as possible. When I was
younger, off in the distance I could always see a shape, but it was really just
a shape with no discernible features. Now that figure is coming into focus a
bit more and I can definitely make out a
hooded figure with a scythe slowly moving my way. Anything I can do to impede that progress is
fair game.
To that end, I have been looking after myself far better
than I ever did when I was younger. It would be safe to say that I am far
healthier now than I was in my 40's. My diet has improved, I exercise regularly
and all those wonderfully enjoyable habits I once had are now as faded as my eye
sight. It is not that all of these
efforts don't come with some sort of cost.
Many of the aches and pains that initiated the Dr Google search in the
first place are a result of something I pushed too hard to do. I have been running for many years now, but
decided that maybe I should also add some weight training to my regime to firm
up my muscle mass and strengthen my core. From what I understand, this would be
beneficial to my body as a whole. I did
find a 6 week routine to follow and have been fairly successful keeping up with
it. However, I might have been more
successful if I found a program that was titled more like, "A 6 Week
Program for 60 Year Old Men, Who Misguidedly Think They Are Still 20". I say this because in the midst of a mighty
push, I heard and felt a "pop" in my chest. Naturally, the first thing that came into my
mind was the movie, "Alien". Anything to do with chest popping can
only be related to aliens making a messy chest exit and wreaking havoc. I
quickly pulled up my T-shirt, half expecting to see a head sticking out of my
chest, but only saw my own sorry chest and stomach. No aliens, just a few weeks
of rest and the elimination of this little exercise from my routine.
Did I learn from my trying to self-diagnose on the internet?
No, definitely not. Almost every website
is filled with new studies which say butter/sugar/red meat/alcohol/salt is
good/bad/indifferent to your overall well-being and to stop/continue/moderate
the use of it. I think the only thing we can do is take it all with a grain of
salt or is that bad for you too?
Last week I did
stumble upon a paper concerning a thing called the Exploding Head Syndrome. After
reading the article, I found out that I am among the 13% of the population who
have it. What really makes this a fun
diagnosis to tell people is they have a tendency to stare at you for the rest
of the night. Mostly, I am sure, envisioning a real Stephen King kind of
outcome. However, as to the nature of the syndrome, I'll leave that to you and
Dr Google to find out.
