A number of years ago we decided a weekend away in Toronto would be the perfect family getaway. We got a suite in heart downtown and pulled out all the stops. Dinner at fancy restaurants, shopping, swimming, with the crown jewel of the trip being an evening at Medieval Times. I am sure that most of you have at least heard of this event, but for those who haven’t, it is an evening that takes place in the 15th century Spain. We, as Lords of the Realm, eat a meal (without any utensils) and watch as our favorite knights at first perform games while atop their steads and then as the story progresses an ultimate battle of jousting and swordplay. It was jaw dropping, eye-popping, slam on your butt stunning and that was just how I reacted when the ticket teller told me how much the admission was for 5 adults. We paid what in real terms equaled our car payment for that month and made our way into one other lineup. There seemed to be lineups for everything. As we shuffled forward, we were assigned which knight we would be cheering for, ours, it turned out was the Red Knight. We all had a cape draped over us, a goofy hat placed on our heads and a picture was snapped standing beside the Queen.(felt strangely like I was graduating again). It was there when my picture was taken with the comely Queen that she turned and addressed me as, “m’lord”. I smiled over at my wife who simply wore an expression on her face that said, “Don’t get used to it”. Before I knew it, the cape whisked off and I was propelled in to the antechamber, where we encountered more lineups. It was good to see that their attention to accuracy and detail was well illustrated with 15th century Spain having draught beer. However, the kids were more thankful that 15th century Spain had Cherry Pepsi.
We were all led into the dining hall and arena area. It was quite the sight, smoke drifting over the floor and lights flashing and music blaring. As we settled in for the show we were introduced to our Serf and Wench and we were told to treat them as our slaves for the evening. I especially enjoyed booming out a, “Wench!! More ale!!” Glancing at my wife, I discovered that same don’t-get-used-to-it expression on her face. Turning to her Serf, she said somewhat sultry, “Slave, bring me my wine.” He blubbered something and ran off to grant ‘m’lady’ her wish. I tried the same look she gave me but she trumped that with a “I could get used to this” expression.
Food was dropped of at our bench as we listened to the introductions of the knights, and we were encouraged to cheer them loudly and often. Our main dish of ribs and half a chicken were presented and all of us tore into it with hands pulling and teeth gnashing. It is quite difficult to cheer on command when you have a mouthful of food. Looking at my son, he did look the part with a drumstick in one hand and a rib in the other, his face smeared with food as he cheered madly for our knight as he raced around the arena on his agile Arabian. Unfortunately, our son eats that way at any regular restaurant. I won’t go into the whole story but it was really an event an incredible night of adventure.
We had heard earlier in the day that among the seven other Medieval Times throughout North America at least one person dies as a result of the show. I just assume they are talking about the knights and not the heart attack victims at the ticket booths. The sparks really do fly as the metal meets metal, one miscalculation and you can easily see how people could get hurt. But as with everything, the evening had to end at some time. Alas, our knight didn’t make it all the way through, he was stab through the stomach and was eliminated in the rounds of competition. It was the other one who made it through the knight (sorry, I couldn’t help myself).
On the drive home one of our daughters thought it would be great to have a Medieval Times in Kingston, unfortunately all this did was bring up talk of consumer base and how our urban demographics would not lend itself to supporting such a tourist blah, blah, blah. Can you imagine how long a two and a half hour drive can be when talking urban geography? Here I was stuck in the middle and I was the one who opted out of high school geography and took Latin instead. It was finally resolved that if we utilized only one knight and instead of a plush arena, we would use the downtown core. We could just arm one of our “local colorful characters” from downtown, give them an empty gift wrapping tube left over from Christmas. Hail him, Sir Wackalot (please don’t take that the wrong way) and let him loose downtown. It may not be the real thing, but it sure would be a lot of fun to watch from a sidewalk patio.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Tilting at Windmills
I stood at the gas bar the other day just watching the numbers go flashing by on the pump. It was mesmerizing in a curious way, the rhythm of the cents counting upwards to the regular changing of the dollar amount. Maybe that is how they get us to buy more gas. They lull us with a sense of rhythm. It is fortunate that we aren’t still in the old analog days of meter reading with a bell dinging at the turn of every dollar. If that were the case, the pump would sound off like a school bell ringing as the dollar amounts wracked up at mind dizzying speeds.
I have been dealing with the economic downturn as well as the next guy, although as a writer the economic rewards do not roll in with any regularity to be all that concerned. My financial management skills consists mostly of checking my pockets for anything with a silver sheen and making sure I don’t loose the Lotto 649 tickets from one draw date to the next. The Lottery Retirement Plan, which is the linchpin in my long term financial strategy is also the vehicle of choice amongst many of my friends and family, even though it was not mentioned as a viable option when I took the Canadian Securities Course. I guess they better update that program to reflect the realities of today.
Like many other people, I have been counting my pennies and looking for ways to stretch what ever bucks happen to come my way. There are plenty of things to do in this area for cheap entertainment. We have many museums and art galleries to see, the local landscape north of the city is ideal for picnicking, the small quaint villages and towns around us gives us the opportunity to step back in time a bit and enjoy their rustic charm. The waterfront, the city’s pride and joy, is a perfect place to lie on the grass and watch the clouds drift by. It used to be just letting my eyes wander over our opposite shoreline would lull me to a state of nirvana, but now whenever I look over at Wolfe Island and see the towering windmills, I instantly flash to those lumbering alien machines that strolled through the countryside blasting apart the world as we knew it in the original movie, “War of the Worlds.” The mental image of mayhem, havoc and devastation on Wolfe Island kind of disrupts any zen state I may have achieved.
The recent economic woes have certainly impacted all levels of society, from the wealthiest to the ones who depend up the generosity of others. However, the frenetic and frantic wheeling and dealing of how to stimulate the economy that was deemed so critical in January and February has morphed into a more casual response. The buzz word of projects that were shovel ready and were ripe for an instantaneous injection of readily shoveled federal money has become sort of ...meh. Not that important anymore.
Don’t misunderstand me, the economy is still in a lousy state. But it is a little confusing when you go from a sky-is-falling, panic inducing, end of the world scenario into a kind of blase feeling in a matter of months. It is understandable if you get a little discouraged after all, look what happened to Chicken Little. It is not as though this was solely a media created problem, the economy really has taken a hit and while some believe this is a correction that has been a long time coming, that is small comfort to all those who have lost their jobs, their savings or more.
I would bet one of my few remaining loonies that if you ever got two thousand economists in the same room with one problem you would most likely emerge with two thousand solutions, if not closer to three thousand. Or better yet, two or three thousand recommendations for solutions, no use going out on a limb with a real solution. Even the ultimate question of do we throw money at an economic problem or not will not get you a black and white response. The best that can be brought forth is a definite maybe or maybe not. No one has quite figured out which is correct and we won’t ever know the solution as there really doesn’t seem to be a definitive answer to this. In reality, there is a lot of middle ground that is awash in a sea of grey. Each side gleefully hold up examples of the teachings of Friedman or Galbraith or any other economist ‘du jour’ as quintessential models of economies at work while not fully understanding any of them.
My hometown has fared better than some other urban centers and this is all part of our master plan to not overly exceed on anything but then again we never really under exceed either. There are some examples locally of business growth but most companies are part of a larger umbrella of companies of which we are just a cog. Our real estate values did not go through the roof as happened in cities like Toronto or Vancouver to the chagrin of some people. But then, our crash did not take 20% off the prices of real estate to the enormous relief of others.
Throughout history, we have seen that sometimes the best solution to surviving a crisis is to hunker down and weather the storm. I am sure many of our citizens have been through much worse and some may feel that our present problems are a creation of the forces who would benefit from them. That would not surprise me in the least. Tilting at windmills has always been a favorite maneuver of the press and politicians. Now if they want to take up this quixotic battle all they have to do is sit on our shoreline and gaze over at the wind farm scattered across Wolfe Island. Don Quixote only thought he was facing thirty or forty of them, we have eighty six, more than enough for everyone to tilt at willwith.
I have been dealing with the economic downturn as well as the next guy, although as a writer the economic rewards do not roll in with any regularity to be all that concerned. My financial management skills consists mostly of checking my pockets for anything with a silver sheen and making sure I don’t loose the Lotto 649 tickets from one draw date to the next. The Lottery Retirement Plan, which is the linchpin in my long term financial strategy is also the vehicle of choice amongst many of my friends and family, even though it was not mentioned as a viable option when I took the Canadian Securities Course. I guess they better update that program to reflect the realities of today.
Like many other people, I have been counting my pennies and looking for ways to stretch what ever bucks happen to come my way. There are plenty of things to do in this area for cheap entertainment. We have many museums and art galleries to see, the local landscape north of the city is ideal for picnicking, the small quaint villages and towns around us gives us the opportunity to step back in time a bit and enjoy their rustic charm. The waterfront, the city’s pride and joy, is a perfect place to lie on the grass and watch the clouds drift by. It used to be just letting my eyes wander over our opposite shoreline would lull me to a state of nirvana, but now whenever I look over at Wolfe Island and see the towering windmills, I instantly flash to those lumbering alien machines that strolled through the countryside blasting apart the world as we knew it in the original movie, “War of the Worlds.” The mental image of mayhem, havoc and devastation on Wolfe Island kind of disrupts any zen state I may have achieved.
The recent economic woes have certainly impacted all levels of society, from the wealthiest to the ones who depend up the generosity of others. However, the frenetic and frantic wheeling and dealing of how to stimulate the economy that was deemed so critical in January and February has morphed into a more casual response. The buzz word of projects that were shovel ready and were ripe for an instantaneous injection of readily shoveled federal money has become sort of ...meh. Not that important anymore.
Don’t misunderstand me, the economy is still in a lousy state. But it is a little confusing when you go from a sky-is-falling, panic inducing, end of the world scenario into a kind of blase feeling in a matter of months. It is understandable if you get a little discouraged after all, look what happened to Chicken Little. It is not as though this was solely a media created problem, the economy really has taken a hit and while some believe this is a correction that has been a long time coming, that is small comfort to all those who have lost their jobs, their savings or more.
I would bet one of my few remaining loonies that if you ever got two thousand economists in the same room with one problem you would most likely emerge with two thousand solutions, if not closer to three thousand. Or better yet, two or three thousand recommendations for solutions, no use going out on a limb with a real solution. Even the ultimate question of do we throw money at an economic problem or not will not get you a black and white response. The best that can be brought forth is a definite maybe or maybe not. No one has quite figured out which is correct and we won’t ever know the solution as there really doesn’t seem to be a definitive answer to this. In reality, there is a lot of middle ground that is awash in a sea of grey. Each side gleefully hold up examples of the teachings of Friedman or Galbraith or any other economist ‘du jour’ as quintessential models of economies at work while not fully understanding any of them.
My hometown has fared better than some other urban centers and this is all part of our master plan to not overly exceed on anything but then again we never really under exceed either. There are some examples locally of business growth but most companies are part of a larger umbrella of companies of which we are just a cog. Our real estate values did not go through the roof as happened in cities like Toronto or Vancouver to the chagrin of some people. But then, our crash did not take 20% off the prices of real estate to the enormous relief of others.
Throughout history, we have seen that sometimes the best solution to surviving a crisis is to hunker down and weather the storm. I am sure many of our citizens have been through much worse and some may feel that our present problems are a creation of the forces who would benefit from them. That would not surprise me in the least. Tilting at windmills has always been a favorite maneuver of the press and politicians. Now if they want to take up this quixotic battle all they have to do is sit on our shoreline and gaze over at the wind farm scattered across Wolfe Island. Don Quixote only thought he was facing thirty or forty of them, we have eighty six, more than enough for everyone to tilt at willwith.
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