Life Lessons - Mouth Editor

Life could be described as a series of lessons. Things that you can learn from and hopefully evolve into a wiser, more rounded person. Sometimes these lessons enhance your life and sometimes they are there just to smack you upside the head. Most of the smacks that I have experienced, have happened to me because I don't have a personal editor with me 24/7. In writing I have days, even weeks to think through what I will write. If my judgment is slightly off or if I may be misunderstood, I usually do a few revisions before other people read what I write and then after careful and thoughtful consideration, I can then safely make a fool of myself.

When I was younger, I was known for being painfully shy. Most children are naturally a little shy and will peek out from behind their Mommy after a little prodding, but me? I would have preferred to stay hidden all of time. The more that people noticed my shyness and blushing, the more intense and uncomfortable it became. Being blonde and fair-skinned, didn't help either. Sometimes, the idea of falling into an endless hole in the ground was more appealing than raising my eyes. Part and parcel of this, was my quietness. There were many reasons why I didn't vocalize very much. First and foremost, I was the youngest of five kids and never really given an opportunity to speak. But more importantly, I didn't think other people would really understand what I was thinking. To me, a lot of it was really funny stuff and that is when I first became aware of editing what you say. Many times, in hind-sight, you really may have wished that the mouth editing control button was permanently turned on. Sometimes odd thoughts sneak out and people look at you a little strange. But for the most part, I kept silent and laughed internally. It was only later in life, that I found center stage wasn't so bad after all.

A short time ago, I was walking home from work, just enjoying the nice weather. Our neighborhood has more than its' share of dogs, but we rarely, if ever, have a problem with dogs running wild. They are usually escorted on a leash by their owners. In their hands, they carry the required small plastic bags to clean up after their animals. That day, there was a parade of dogs and owners walking up the sidewalk. In the midst of this, came a woman, pushing a wheel barrow with a large orange plastic yard bag and a shovel in it. The first thing that flashed through my mind was, "God, I would hate to see your dog!" Fortunately, the mouth editor stopped me before I said anything, but I did have a huge smile on my face and just mumbled something about fine weather as I passed her.

Just the other week, my family and I were walking downtown to do a little shopping. We passed many people that were looking for handouts, a few playing guitars and singing, some of them were quite good. But, the one that was most memorable was far from even remotely good. She stood on the corner randomly strumming her guitar and sang in a voice that sounded like someone gave strychnine to a cat. I felt compelled to pay her to stop that tortured wailing. But before I did another guy walked up to and her and must have asked her to stop because her intensity grew even louder and more (if possible) maniacal. It was at that point I wished that other guy would have exercised some self editing. It took us almost a block to get out of the range of hearing. It took me that long to realize that she was singing, "Rocky Mountain High".

I have always had a tendency, some say more of an irritation, to attempt to correct a word or phrase that someone used incorrectly. An example of this was, for years my wife used the word "bought" instead of "brought". It was only a small thing but I thought if I have to spend eternity with her if I didn't do something it could drive me crazy. So time and again I corrected her hoping that the change would eventually take hold. After a few years, it finally did. But curiosity did get the best of me and I asked her where she picked up such a bad habit. Turns out, she picked it up from her Dad. This is where I learned a life lesson. I said "Just because your Dad said it, that doesn't mean that it is right". After picking myself up off the ground and checking for any open wounds, I realized maybe I should keep my thoughts for the most part right where I can keep my eye on them. Locked firmly in my brain.

So what are the life lessons learned? Well, "let a sleeping dog lie" or, "when confronted by the banshee woman, don't make it worse than it already is", kind of pops to mind. "Discretion is the better part of valor", is another. It is sometimes better to keep your funny thoughts to yourself because no one is as funny as you are to yourself. But most importantly, never, but never, use the words "your Dad" and "wrong" in the same sentence.